


Why's It Always (Say Goodnight and Go)

by fizzyblogic (phizzle)



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drunkenness, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-23
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 17:51:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phizzle/pseuds/fizzyblogic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Renly works in a gift shop in Warwick Castle. Loras joins the Warwick Warriors. Adorable crushing ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why's It Always (Say Goodnight and Go)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [slightlytookish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightlytookish/gifts).



> Beta by the incomparable laurelcrowned <3

Renly shows his staff pass at the turnstiles and heads up the path to the courtyard, whistling at the sunshine. He nods to the other staff, people hurrying to set up the Pageant Playground and open restaurants. He makes his way around the courtyard, still whistling when he gets to the Kingmaker shop and unlocks it.

He's a while getting everything set up, and Jon arrives at ten to. "Sorry I'm late," he says, hurrying behind the till. "Traffic was murder today."

"It's all right," Renly shrugs, finishing his stock check. Everything's in order, on the right shelves, ready for another day's visitors.

"Are we starting the summer stuff today?" Jon asks, counting the cash in the till.

"Yeah, the knights should be here later. D'you want to take late lunch?"

"Nah, I'll catch it tomorrow." Jon finishes counting up, and checks there's enough paper for the receipts while Renly turns the sign on the door to 'Open'. "I heard a rumour the Warriors've got a new knight this year. Some student from the university."

"Yeah? I'll see if he's any good," Renly grins.

The morning is as busy as it always is in July. There's a lot of families, a few groups of friends, and one large group of tourists. Renly barely gets a break until his lunch at two o'clock, by which point he's starving. He walks along the path to the nearest of the restaurants, daydreaming about the cream teas, when he notices the Warwick Warriors are starting.

Stomach rumbling, he stops to watch for a minute. The squires are fighting with quarterstaffs, the commentator entertaining the gathered crowds. The knights are watching from the sides of the field, and Renly spots the new one almost immediately. He can't see his face, but he has curly brown hair that the sun is giving caramel highlights and he's holding himself like a noble. Renly ducks into the Undercroft and turns his mind to his lunch.

The knights are fighting by the time he's walking back to the shop. The new knight has on green and gold, with a sigil of a golden rose. They're fighting with swords, and this new knight is good. _Really_ good. Renly stops just to watch, drifting closer without even realising, until he's part of the crowd around the mêlée field. The fight is great, convincingly fraught, and with a bit of slapstick thrown in for the kids. The crowd gasps in the right places, and when the new knight emerges the victor, Renly joins the applause.

"Thank you, thank you," the knight shouts to the crowd. "I want to thank my family —"

The commentator cuts him off, and the routine ends with the knight getting the commentator in a headlock, to the further cheers of the crowd. Renly laughs, and the knight seems to hear him; he looks up, their eyes meet, and Renly is now close enough to see his face.

It feels like his heart stops for a second when the knight looks at him. He's startlingly beautiful, with gorgeous brown eyes and a mouth anyone would envy. His curls are falling artfully around his face, even though he's sweating. One lock is so beautifully composed on his forehead that Renly would almost suspect him of putting it there deliberately if he hadn't been watching him the whole time.

The knight looks away, lets the commentator go, and throws his hand up in the air for another round of applause. Renly claps loudly, and puts his fingers in his mouth to give a shrill whistle. The knight turns to him at the sound, and beams. His smile nearly knocks the breath out of Renly's throat, it's so pretty.

The show over, the knights get swallowed up in the crowd, and Renly goes back to the shop. Jon's serving a customer and Renly gets right back to work, straightening the postcards near the door and helping someone pick a tapestry. It's almost an hour before there's no customers and they can talk again.

"Did you see the Warriors?" Jon asks. Renly nods. "How was the new one?"

"Gorgeous," he says. "Incredibly gorgeous, holy _crap_ gorgeous. Unbelievably gorgeous. And really good with a sword, he won the fight. He was brilliant. And did I mention _gorgeous_."

"You did, a bit." Jon's grinning. "Does he have a gold rose on his tunic, by any chance?"

"Yes, why?"

Jon nods to the window. Renly has his back to it, and turns to see the new knight walking towards their shop.

"Oh." Renly turns back to Jon. "Don't say a word. Not one word, Snow. Not _one_."

Jon holds his hands up. "I wouldn't."

Renly squashes the urge to check that his hair isn't ridiculous, and then the knight is striding into the shop and _smiling at him_.

"Hi," the knight says. "I was told this is the place to look at the replica swords."

"Yep." Renly forces his legs to move from behind the counter and leads the knight over to the display. "Were you thinking of buying a sword? I thought you already had one."

"That's for work, it's not mine." The knight is looking the swords over like he knows what he's doing. Renly doesn't quite know where to put his hands. "I've been looking for a good sword for a long time, since I nicked my last one to pieces."

"You ... work with swords a lot?" Renly asks, putting his hands behind his back. He feels sort of creepy-car-salesman-ish like that, so he swings them by his sides.

"Since I was a kid, yeah." He picks up one of the swords. "These aren't sharp, are they?"

"Not really, no." Renly watches him test the edges of a few. "But they're good for re-enactment stuff, and, well, for safety."

The knight looks up from the swords and smiles at him. Renly has to remind himself not to stare. "That's what I'm looking for, really," he says, and drops his attention back to the swords. "I've had one or two actual sharp ones, but it's best to go for blunt. Safety," he smiles at Renly again, "like you said." He holds up a sword. "I'll take this one, please."

Jon stands aside so Renly can serve him, for which Renly makes a mental note to buy him a drink in thanks. While he's ringing it up, he says, "So you do re-enactment things a lot?"

"Yeah," the knight nods. "It's sort of a hobby, but I'm hoping to make a career of it. I've been in local things since I was five, the Warriors is my second big gig."

"Well, you're brilliant." Renly gestures towards the window. "I saw you, earlier."

"Were you the one whistling?" At Renly's nod, he says, "Thanks."

"Well, you were great," Renly says, feeling simultaneously awkward and warm. He hands Loras a bag, sword box sticking out of it. "I hope you, er, enjoy the sword."

The knight looks like he wants to laugh. "Thanks." As he's leaving, he turns back and says, "My name's Loras, by the way."

"Um, I'm Renly," he says, and then Loras is gone.

"I think there's some drool on your chin," Jon says. Renly frantically checks, but there isn't any. Jon laughs.

"Please excuse me, I have to go and lie down while my eyes adjust to how _enormously hot_ he is." Renly actually has to go to the stock room, they're running low on tapestries out on the floor. Jon keeps laughing as he leaves. "Shut up," Renly calls over his shoulder, but Jon doesn't until another customer comes in.

It's Renly's day in the Stables shop the next day. He likes his Stables days, because Barristan is surprisingly fun to be around, and there's more kids in this shop. His lunch hour falls earlier than the Warriors are performing, and he's not even near the courtyard, so he doesn't get to see them. Still, he helps a twelve-year-old boy find his sister (who'd been hiding in the princess gowns) and sells an inordinate number of mugs and keyrings, and then at five o'clock he almost chokes on his own saliva because Loras walks into the shop.

"Hi," Loras says, making an instant beeline for Renly. _It's because he's met you before_ , Renly tells himself. _Don't get your hopes up, remember the last three guys you asked out and how they turned out to be straight._ "I'm looking for a really good present for someone I don't actually know all that well."

"Ah." Renly tries to think quickly, but Loras's eyes, up close, look like they might have gold flecks in them. Renly forces himself to look around the shop, start thinking at _all_. "Well, we have castle mugs. Those are always a good generic present. People like tea, after all." He grins weakly.

"Exactly." Loras grins back, like this isn't a supremely awkward moment, and Renly leads him over to the mugs. He tries not to stare at Loras's hands as he's picking up the mugs to look at them closely. They're nice hands, precise in their movements, callused from sword-fighting. "I think I'll take this one," Loras holds a mug up. "Thank you."

"Any time," Renly says, and watches him go over to the till. Barristan always mans it, only letting Renly near it when he needs a break. Renly's usually much happier out on the floor, helping customers, but right now he wishes old Barristan would decide suddenly he wants to leave for a minute. Just long enough for Renly to serve Loras and carry on talking to him.

Loras looks over as he's walking out of the shop, smiling at Renly again. Renly almost trips over a three-year-old, but catches himself just in time. The three-year-old's mother scoops her up and mumbles an apology, which Renly brushes off absently.

He's back in the Kingmaker shop the next day, and Jon doesn't say anything about it when he doesn't take a lunch break until two. He just pats his shoulder and says, "Don't trip over your tongue."

"I will hear the last of this," Renly says, walking out.

"Nope," Jon calls as the door swings shut behind him.

Renly brought sandwiches today, and he stands a little way out from the crowd, in the most perfect position to see Loras, and eats them out of the bag. He doesn't really watch the squires' routine, just Loras, his reaction to his squire's efforts, the way his hand rests on the hilt of his sword. He watches as horses are brought out for the knights, and they fight on horseback, then dismount to fight on the ground. The routine is fun, and Renly laughs along with the rest, but his eyes don't leave Loras and he cheers the loudest for him.

Loras wins again, and after the show is over, he makes his way straight to Renly's side of the audience. Renly's been edging closer to the barrier since he finished his sandwiches, and Loras beams at him. "You were brilliant," Renly calls, and Loras takes a short bow, still smiling at him, before accepting other shouts of praise from the audience and heading over to the other Warriors.

Renly spends the rest of that day distracting Jon with questions about how his brother's doing, and whether his little sister liked the sword Jon got her for her birthday. He keeps hoping Loras will show up again, but he doesn't, and Renly's day ends after the last guest has left the castle and the shop is sorted and locked up for the night. "Fancy a pint?" Jon asks, and Renly nods, so they head off together.

There's a pub not too far away, that the castle staff go to if they're not doing the evening banquets. It's crammed with people tonight, everyone from the Jousting Knights to lowly shop folk like them. Renly's progress to the bar is slow, as nearly everyone stops him to say hi and exchange pleasantries. Jaime Lannister, one of the Jousting Knights, doesn't bother rousing himself, which is just fine with Renly. Jon trails in his wake, until he hears a shout from a booth and starts shoving through the throng to get to the table. "The usual?" Renly shouts at his retreating back.

"Yeah, thanks," Jon calls over his shoulder, struggling through the press of people.

Renly finally gets to the bar and orders two pints. He's jostled as he stands there, elbows and shoulders too close in this room, and then he notices who's next to him.

"Loras," he says, before he can think. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Loras's face breaks into a huge smile, and Renly sternly tells his knees to stop turning to water. He's twenty-three years old, he should at least be able to talk to an astoundingly gorgeous man without leaning on the bar to hold himself up. "Yes, thanks," Loras says, and to the barman he says, "Coke, please."

"Nothing stronger?" Renly asks, accepting the pints the barman has placed in front of him and digging his wallet out of his pocket.

"Already had two, and I've got to drive back to Coventry tonight," Loras says.

"Fair enough." Renly pays for the drinks and says, "I've got to take one of these to my mate, but d'you want to find us a table? I'll be with you in a minute."

"Okay."

Renly grabs the pints and makes his way over to the booth Jon's friends have claimed. "Make room, lads," Jon says, and Pyp shifts half into Grenn's lap.

"No need," Renly says, putting Jon's pint down in front of him. "Afraid I have to cry off, I met someone at the bar."

Jon grins at him. "Was it Loras?" There's a chorus of whoops and cat calls from the lads. All but Sam, who's going red.

"Yes. Don't wait up." Renly winks at Jon, who laughs into his pint glass.

He finds Loras at a table in the corner, near the dart board. "Thought you'd got lost," Loras says, grinning. "I was about to send a search party."

"By which you mean one of the Redwynes, I suppose." There's a few of them at the next table, loudly playing cards. Loras laughs.

"Is that what they're called?" He leans close, all joking put aside, and says, "I don't really know anyone here yet."

"Oh, I can help you with that," Renly says, his chest feeling light. "They're the Redwynes," he nods to the table, "mostly brothers and cousins and stuff. They work the trebuchet and the eagle show." He points over to a booth. "That's most of the Jousting Knights. Have you seen them?" Loras nods. "I'm always working when they're on, but I hear they're good." He points to the next booth. "That's another of them, sitting with his sister. The Lannisters. She does the Princess Tower, off the courtyard. Haughty gits, both of them." He nods to Jon's booth. "That's my mate Jon and his mates, they all do different things. Good blokes."

"And what about you? Do you do all the shops?" Loras doesn't take his eyes from him, sipping his Coke with that glorious mouth.

"I'm mostly in the Kingmaker, but once a week I'm in the Stables, and I help out with one of the seasonal ones."

"My boss said if I'm popular this year, I could have a standing job in the Warriors." Loras looks him steadily in the eye. It's a bit disconcerting when his eyes are that pretty. "Is it a good place to work? Long term, I mean."

"I've been here for five years," Renly says, nodding, "and I love it. The crowd seemed to like you."

Loras's entire face lights up. "Did you see that move, today, when we were on the horses? Bryce almost got me, and I was supposed to go left, but he was blocking me so I had to go right, and I heard someone gasp like they thought I'd really get hurt." His eyes are sparkling, and they _do_ have gold flecks in them. Renly wonders if he'll manage to get used to how stupidly attractive Loras is, if they end up being friends.

"Yeah, that was brilliant," Renly says. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

"My parents took me to a re-enactment when I was a kid," he says, "I don't even remember where. I just remember seeing these knights fighting, and thinking, that's what I want to do. Everyone was having so much fun, and I wanted to _do_ that. To make people happy, to get to be a knight and swing a sword around. So my dad got me lessons."

"A man with purpose," Renly says, grinning. "That's what I like to see."

"What about you?" Loras's smile is warm. "Did you always want to be a medieval shopkeeper?"

Renly laughs. "I don't keep a medieval shop. And no, not really. I just thought it sounded like fun."

Loras laughs, a surprised sound. "And is it?"

"Yeah. It's varied, I like the people I work with, and I'm not exactly selling frozen peas or magazines."

"Swords and arrows," Loras nods, "much more exciting."

By the time Renly's finished his drink, they're on to the subject of history. "Do you have a side?" Renly asks. "The whole 'are you a Yorkist or Lancastrian' thing gets hammered in for the tourists, but I always wonder."

Loras shrugs. "I suppose Lancaster, since they won. What about you?"

"Yorkist all the way," Renly says, grinning. "We should obviously fight this out."

"I'd win," Loras points out, "since I'm Henry. And I'm a knight and you're a shopkeeper."

Renly laughs. "You have me there." He looks at his watch. "If you don't have anywhere to be just yet, I was thinking of grabbing some fish and chips. D'you want to come?"

"Yeah," Loras says. "Let's settle this over some roe and ketchup."

Renly waves to Jon on their way out. Jon raises his eyebrows and grins, but Renly shakes his head. He's pretty sure now that all he's going to get with Loras is friendship, but he's fun to be around and lovely to look at, so he tells himself he doesn't mind. And that he isn't noticing how great Loras's ass looks in the jeans he's wearing. Not in the slightest.

Renly drives them to the nearest chippy, and when they've got their food (and Loras has squirted ketchup on his and Renly has salted his to perfection) Loras says, "We need to settle this dispute." He holds up a chip. "My Lancastrian lance against your Yorkist one."

Renly suppresses all the thoughts about lances that immediately spring into being. He digs out a chip and says, "En garde."

The chip fight is short, punctuated by cries of "Henry! Lancaster!" and "Richard!" and "Get back, blackguard!" Loras wins by hitting Renly's chip so hard with his that Renly's breaks in half.

"Hah," Loras says, eating his victorious chip. "Henry becomes king, and history is secure once more."

"Oh, we were battling for history? I'd have made myself a fishy shield if I'd known."

"Cheater." Loras swirls another chip in ketchup and eats it, leaving a small blob on his lower lip.

"Um, you've got —" Renly gestures with his hand, telling himself not to lick it off, _Don't lean in and lick it off, whatever you do, DO NOT LICK IT OFF._ All he can think about is licking it off, of course, but he manages not to. Loras does it himself, tongue darting just out of his mouth, and now Renly has a whole host of other thoughts to suppress.

"Thanks." There's an awkward silence for a moment, and then Loras says, "So what do you do when you're not selling tapestries and tea towels to the masses?"

"Watch films, mostly," Renly says. They're wandering around Warwick, shops closed all around them, people heading to pubs or home or restaurants. "What about you?"

"I'm a student at Warwick uni," Loras says. "Film, actually."

"Really? So what's your favourite film, then?"

Loras thinks for a minute, chewing. "You know, everybody asks me that, and usually I joke it off or say A Knight's Tale, because that's the obvious one, right?"

"Well, of course," Renly says.

"But I don't know," Loras says. "I suppose I feel like being honest tonight. It's actually Latter Days."

"I don't know that one." Renly munches his fish, watching a breeze lift and rearrange Loras's curls.

"It's this independent film hardly anyone's heard of," Loras shrugs. "And I'm not saying that to be a hipster. I just think it's got a great story. There's all these characters, like a Mormon missionary and a restaurant owner who's dealing with a friend's cancer, and an aspiring singer. I feel like a wanker when I say it, but I think it's got real heart."

"You don't sound like a wanker to me," Renly says.

They wander around a bit more after finishing their chips, then Renly drives Loras back to where his car is. It's starting to get dark, and as Loras is getting out of the car, Renly says, "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

Loras smiles at him. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."

Renly watches him go to his own car and wave as he drives away. He just sits for a minute, after Loras's car is gone, softly knocking his head against the steering wheel.

{__}

"You've seriously never seen a silent film? Not even one?"

It's Renly's lunch break, a week into the summer shows, and he's sitting with Loras on the riverbank. Loras isn't in costume yet, and his shirt is open part way down his chest. Renly keeps forgetting to eat, looking at him. "It's not something most people do," he says, laughing at Loras's appalled look.

"But the origins of cinema! There's so much great physical comedy in silent films, and all these over-dramatic stories. It's like opera without the singing, and much shorter."

"You like _opera_?" Silent films, Renly expected. Opera he did not.

"It's not that I like it," Loras says, "it's more that it was forced upon me as a child because my parents like it."

"Ah, well, that explains it. I didn't peg you for the type."

"And what type would that be?"

Renly grins. "Pretentious. Stuck-up. Owner of at least one velvet suit."

Loras laughs. "I have a crushed velvet jacket, does that count?"

"Posh git." Renly laughs. "Don't worry, I've got numerous silk ties, I just never wear them for work."

"Now who's the posh git?" Loras's smile is bright, the sun lightening his hair. Renly could stay here for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, his lunch hour is almost up.

"I should get back to the shop, Jon'll be starving by now."

"Okay." Loras gets up when he does, and for a minute they brush the grass off their jeans and smile at each other. "Listen, there's a cinema near my house that's showing a double bill of silent horror this weekend. If you're free, d'you want to go?"

"I don't have a day off until Monday," Renly says, heart sinking. "Is it playing any other time?"

"No. But I've got DVDs, if you want to come round. I can pick you up after I finish here, if you tell me where you live."

"Yeah, okay." They start the long walk back to the courtyard, Renly firmly telling himself that he doesn't at all want to hold Loras's hand. It's a losing battle.

When he gets back, Jon almost hugs him. "I am _famished_ ," he says, and hurries straight out. Renly's busy with customers until he gets back, and when they're alone in the shop again Jon says, "How did the date go?"

"It wasn't a date," Renly says. "It went fine. I'm going over to his on Monday to watch films." At Jon's raised eyebrows, he adds, "He found out I've never seen a silent one. He's a _film student_. It doesn't mean he's interested in me."

"You're an idiot," Jon says, fondly. Renly punches him on the arm.

Loras shows up at Renly's flat right on time on Monday. He's wearing jeans with tiny golden roses embroidered onto the pockets, and a gorgeous open-collared brown shirt. Renly's wearing the shirt that makes his eyes look green, and for a split second when he opens the door there's a look on Loras's face that might have been lust. It's gone by the time it registers, and Renly shakes himself. _You're imagining things now_ , he thinks, grabbing his wallet and keys and stuffing them in his pockets. _It's just wishful thinking. Stop it._

Loras has the radio on in the car, tuned to Radio 2. Renly didn't expect that, either. Steve Wright's voice blares out of the speakers until he turns it down and says, "I've got some CDs if you want to stick one on."

He's indicating the glove compartment, so Renly opens it and flips through a CD wallet. There's some 90s bands, some bands he doesn't recognise (Pansy Division and The Magnetic Fields seems to fit in with Loras's flower theme, but he's not really sure about Say Anything or Wideawake), Adam Lambert, and some folk. "Mumford and Sons," Renly says in approval.

"You like them?" At Renly's nod, Loras says, "Good. You can stay."

Renly laughs and puts the CD in the player. "Don't most people have iPod docks now or something?"

"This car's second-hand," Loras shrugs. "Besides, I don't have an iPod."

"You don't have an _iPod_?" He is just full of surprises.

Loras laughs. "I'm morally opposed to Mac snobs, so I refuse to buy any Apple products. Besides, since my parents decided I have to be independent and pay for things myself, I can't actually afford one. I have an mp3 player. It's very good."

"Yes, but _iPods_ ," Renly says, appalled. Loras just laughs and shakes his head, and then he starts singing along with Marcus Mumford and Renly stares at him.

"My heart was never pure —" Loras stops singing. "What?"

"Sorry, no, it's just you have a lovely voice." If anything, he'd have thought Loras would have a delicate fluty voice, but instead it's sort of smoky. The kind of voice you'd expect in a half-filled bar on slam poetry night, not one you'd expect to belong to the most beautiful man Renly's seen in his life.

Loras blushes, which is more adorable than it has any right to be. "Thanks. What about you?"

"Oh, I can't sing for toffee. I'd demonstrate, but we're in a moving vehicle that you're in charge of, so I fear you'd throw me out of it."

"I wouldn't!" He says it like he's pretending to be shocked, but there's a sincerity to it all the same.

"You say that now, but you haven't heard me sing. Or as my brother once put it," he does his best impression of Stannis, "murdering that piece." Voice back to normal, he says, "He calls songs 'pieces', my brother."

"Is this the middle brother, the one who never smiles?" Loras asks.

"Yep," Renly says, watching the countryside go past the window.

Loras's house is pretty typical for students. "I'm the only one here for the summer," he says, letting them in. "The rest of my housemates will probably start moving in in September. The contract started in June, though, and I wanted to stay up here."

"It's a nice place," Renly says. There's not much stuff in it — most of Loras's things are probably in his bedroom — but there's a sofa and some bean bag chairs that will no doubt suffer spectacular deaths while the inhabitants of them are drunk.

"D'you want something to drink?" Loras asks. Renly follows him into the kitchen. There are magnets on the fridge spelling out MILK and CORN FLAKES and ARSE. The latter is off to the side, a jumble of letters near it as though the message was originally longer.

"What have you got?" Renly leans against the counter and watches Loras open cupboards and grab glasses, his shirt riding up to almost show some skin.

"Lemonade, water, apple juice, and I think there's some orange in here somewhere." He opens the fridge and frowns into it.

"Lemonade, please," Renly says. He keeps the glasses steady as Loras pours and drops ice cubes in.

They settle on the sofa. Loras holds up two DVD cases. "Phantom of the Opera or Hunchback? Which do you want to watch first?"

Renly wants to laugh, but Loras is clearly serious about this. "Phantom," he says, picking at random. Loras nods.

"It is a French novel Lon Chaney day," he says, putting the DVD in the player and grabbing the remote. "Next time we'll do Charlie Chaplin, yeah?"

"Sounds good," Renly says. "So who's Lon Chaney?"

Loras launches into a story about 1910s theatre and 1920s Hollywood. Renly watches him talk, enthusiasm lighting up his face and making his eyes look somehow more gold than brown.

After the films, Loras says, "I don't know about you, but I'm starving."

"Shall we order something in?" Renly says, realising as he does that maybe Loras didn't mean for him to stay.

Loras seems to want him to, though. "Only if you pay for it. I'm broke."

"Ah. Me too."

"I'll make us dinner," Loras says. "I warn you, I make weird stuff."

"Like what?"

"Eggy spaghetti and veggies," Loras says.

" _What_?"

"Eggs scrambled with spaghetti, and vegetables on top. Maggie calls it eggy spaghetti with veggies."

"That sounds disgusting."

"Told you I make weird stuff. I don't have any eggs in, though. Or vegetables."

"Thank God for that," Renly says, grinning. Loras bumps their shoulders together.

"All right, what about pasta, cheese and mayo? That's vaguely normal."

Renly thinks for a minute. "Well," he says, "it doesn't sound _too_ bad."

"I've got toast if you don't like it," Loras shrugs.

"Thanks."

He comes with Loras to the kitchen, and says, "Okay, what can I do to help?"

"You're the guest," Loras says, indicating one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Sit down, it's fine."

"Come on, I want to help. I could fetch pans for you? Grate cheese?"

Renly's heart jumps slightly at the happy look on Loras's face. "Fine," he says, "you're on Cheddar duty. But I'll fetch things, I know where everything is."

Renly dutifully grates the cheese, watching Loras cook the pasta, moving around the kitchen with the perfect ease of weeks of familiarity. They talk about Margaery and her A Levels, and Robert posting another kid to Stannis to take care of. "I swear, if he gets anyone else pregnant, Stannis is going to force him to have the snip," Renly says, picking at the cheese.

When the pasta is cooked, Loras drains it, puts it back in the pan, and reaches for the cheese. He dumps it over the pasta and shoves it under the grill. "You melt the cheese," he says, "then stir the mayo in. I'll do that, it takes practice to get it even."

"How very student food," Renly grins.

"In case you hadn't noticed, I'm a student," Loras says in a mock whisper.

"Oh," Renly feigns sudden understanding, "that explains it."

Loras flicks him with a tea towel. Renly laughs and jumps up, and Loras chases him for a minute around the kitchen, flicking the towel at him and laughing.

{__}

"Wow, you've got so many," Renly says. It's a Wednesday evening in the middle of August, and he is spending it in Loras's back garden, looking at his collection of swords. There's wooden ones and short ones and the one he bought in the shop, and even a few plastic ones.

"I could teach you the basics," Loras says, looking up from cleaning the Kingmaker sword. "If you want."

"Yeah, okay." Loras grabs one of the plastic swords and hands it to Renly. "Your grip's wrong," he says, almost immediately.

"I've never held one before, except in the shop," Renly points out.

"Here." Loras steps up next to him, his hand over Renly's, adjusting his grip. "You don't mind, do you? It's just easier than trying to describe it."

"No, I don't mind." It's the biggest of clichés, and Renly sometimes wonders if the universe is trying to kill him. If Loras can feel Renly's pulse speeding up at all, he doesn't say anything, adjusting his wrist with a look of concentration.

Renly turns his head to see his face better, and then realises what a bad idea this is. Their faces are so close. It's hard not to tilt closer, lean in and ruin a perfectly good friendship. "There," Loras says, glancing at him and back at the sword. "That's better."

He steps away, and Renly does his best not to move his hand. "Okay, now what?"

Loras looks at him closely, eyes raking all over him. Renly starts to flush, hoping Loras won't notice. "Your stance," Loras says, and moves behind him. The universe is _definitely_ trying to kill him, because Loras steps up _close_ to adjust his shoulders. "Drop this one," he says, and Renly does his best to relax it. "You're very tense," Loras says, and because he wants to torture Renly as much as possible, he starts giving him a neck rub.

A sort of desperate sound escapes Renly's throat. He hopes Loras won't acknowledge it, but his fingers work harder against the tension in his neck, and he lets another sound out. "Wow, I think you should invest in some kind of massager," Loras says.

Renly adds _Gives exquisite neck rubs_ to Loras's long list of attractive qualities. "You're just very good at this," he says, playing off how strained and desperate he sounds.

"You're _very_ tense," Loras repeats, moving to the top of Renly's back. "I could give you a back rub, if you want."

_Universe_ , Renly thinks, _stop it_. "I should probably get home." His hand has dropped by his side, and he's only just noticed.

"I won't hurt you," Loras says, sounding exasperated. "I promise, I give just as good back rubs as neck rubs. And you work too hard. You need it."

Renly closes his eyes. "Okay, yeah. Thanks."

He helps Loras gather up the swords and take them back inside, and then Loras says to him, "Right, shirt off," and Renly savours the moment. He yanks his shirt over his head and lies on his front on the sofa.

He didn't think about where Loras would have to be but of course, of _course_ , Loras straddles his ass. And leans down to reach the top of his back. Renly puts his head on his folded hands and allows himself some whimpers. "You should have more days off," Loras says, working at the muscles in the small of Renly's back. His hands are _skilled_. "How many days a week do you work, anyway?"

"I get a day off after every four days of work," Renly says. "So it's not like it's x days a week."

"You should have two days off in a row. I bet you've forgotten what weekends are like." Loras leans over to work at Renly's side, up near his shoulder blades, and Renly whimpers again.

"I know what weekends are like," he protests. "Hard work and bored kids, that's what weekends are like."

"Only for your brothers," Loras says. It sounds like he's grinning. "You really should get some more time off. Relax a bit, spend a whole two days in your pants on the sofa eating beans out of the tin and watching an entire box set of some TV show."

Renly turns to look at him as best he can. "Are you describing _your_ weekends?"

Loras laughs. "Some of them. You've got to live fast while you're young." He gently pushes Renly back to lying down, and leans over to get the top of his back. Renly's erection is digging into the sofa, the cushions not all that soft. He wonders how on earth he's going to get up without Loras noticing.

They're silent for a minute, while Loras sweeps his hands over Renly's skin, stopping to worry at any tension he finds. Renly lets himself relax, closing his eyes and daydreaming that Loras is into him, that when the back rub ends he'll sit up and kiss him.

"There," Loras says, just as the Loras in Renly's imagination is taking his clothes off, "I think that's you done."

Renly opens his eyes. "That was amazing," he says. It comes out sort of a moan.

There's a pause, then Loras gets off him. It's like he's decided not to acknowledge the awkwardness of the situation, and he murmurs something about cleaning the lotion off his hands. "I'll bring something for you," he says, and ducks out of the room.

Renly desperately tries to think of the least sexy things possible. Washing machines. Cats. Stannis. His erection is gone by the time Loras gets back with a cloth and wipes the lotion off his back.

"Thanks," Renly says, sitting up to put his shirt back on. "I really should be getting home, but thanks. I had a good time today."

There's a moment, before Loras responds, when Renly almost kisses him. His mouth is close, and Renly catches himself starting to tilt and lean in. He stops, forcing himself not to move, and then Loras says, "Yeah, me too."

When he gets back to his own place, Renly throws himself into an armchair and calls Jon. "Help," he says.

"You all right?" It sounds like Jon's with his mates. Renly can hear Sam's voice, and Pyp mumbling something.

"I am going to die of Loras Tyrell," Renly says.

"You can't die of blue balls." Renly can practically hear Jon rolling his eyes.

"He taught me how to hold a sword," Renly groans. "By getting behind me to correct my posture. Then he gave me a back rub."

"You're just living in the worst rom com ever made, aren't you?" Jon sighs. "I take it nothing else happened?"

"Of course it didn't," Renly says. "And if it had, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I also wouldn't be sitting alone in my flat, planning to do nothing tonight but eat ice cream and watch every Bond film I own."

"D'you want some company?"

Renly is very glad Jon got assigned to his shop. "I've got pizza," he says. "By which I mean I have the number for a pizza place."

"You can order it over the internet now, you know," Jon says. "Me and Sam'll be there in half an hour."

{__}

"Have you shagged him yet?" Jon asks, for the fifth time that week. It's almost the end of the summer shows, September getting close.

Renly sighs. "No. He's probably straight. He doesn't seem interested. We're _friends_." He says it like a mantra these days.

"Friends my arse," Jon snorts. His Yorkshire accent gets thicker when he's annoyed, and it's almost impenetrable now. "You're running out of time. The Warriors'll be gone next week."

"I know." Renly busies himself setting up the shelves and straightening the postcards. "But I've told you. There's no move to make. And it's not like he'll stop existing when the shows stop. We do have email. I even sometimes have a day off."

"Which you _could_ be using to shag the man you haven't stopped talking about for the past bloody month." Jon sighs. "Just tell him you fancy the pants off him. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Things could get really awkward and then he'll disappear and I'll never see him again," Renly says immediately. He pauses. "Until next summer. When things would get even _more_ awkward and I'd have to move to the Emporium or quit my job. And I _like_ my job."

Jon drops his head into his hands. "I give up," he says. "Just _please_ , if you're going to sabotage your own love life, do me a favour and shut up about it sometimes."

"I don't talk about him _all_ the time," Renly protests. "Yesterday we had a whole conversation about fudge."

"Yes, which you ended by talking about the fudge you had with Loras at the weekend. And it wasn't a euphemism."

"Oh." Renly pauses as the shop door opens. "Sorry," he says, and slips away from the counter to ask the customer if he can help him.

They have a lunch date ( _not date_ , Renly reminds himself, _just two friends having lunch_ ) in the rose garden at midday. Renly finds Loras sitting on a bench in the middle of absolutely beautiful roses, and whimpers almost silently. A month of friendship with Loras and he _still_ isn't used to how gorgeous he is. He tries to keep it in mind, to build up a tolerance, but it assaults him with fresh force whenever Loras is standing in front of anything lovely, or when he's wearing dark red, or when he smiles and his eyes light up with happiness. The one time they'd met up to see a film Loras had been wearing eyeliner, and Renly had had to make an excuse about getting popcorn so he could grip hold of something and close his eyes in desperation.

"It's such a nice day," Loras says when Renly sits next to him. He hands him a lunchbox. "You said you like ham and tomato, right?"

He'd mentioned it, once, in a conversation about bacon. "You remembered," he says, telling his heart to stop hammering. "Thanks."

Loras shrugs. "I'm a good friend."

"Yup." Renly doesn't say anything else. He's a bit speechless, seeing Loras among all these roses. It's like his beauty belongs in a garden, fresh and green and so undeniably lovely.

There's a comfortable silence while they start on their sandwiches. Loras keeps looking around at the flowers. "My granddad was a gardener," he says.

"Really?"

"Yeah, he was sort of famous. He bred a rose he called the Tyrell rose."

"Oh! Is that why you have a rose on your tunic? Did you ask for that?"

"Yeah. They asked me what I wanted, and I said a gold rose. The Tyrell rose isn't actually gold, but it's a shade of yellow meant to look like gold."

"Do they have any here?"

"I think so. We could look, after this." Loras holds his sandwich up. Renly smiles.

They talk a bit about dogs — Renly wishes he could have one, and Loras's oldest brother breeds Labradors — while they eat the rest of their lunch. Brushing the crumbs off their legs after, they start making their way down the paths, looking at the roses.

"There," Loras says, when they come to a spectacular display including various shades of yellow. "Five rows up, the gold-looking ones. Those are Tyrells."

"They're gorgeous." The yellow does look like gold. Renly glances at Loras. He's got a proud look on his face.

"My family made their money in flowers," Loras says. "Roses, orchids, all sorts. Garlan's working on this buttercup with streaks of purple in it, it's going to look amazing."

"I bet it will," Renly says, watching Loras look at the roses. "Amazing."

{__}

There's a party for the summer workers, after the last day of the season. Loras invites Renly, who has a day off the next day, so he can get wasted. It's out on the Jousting Arena on the other side of the river, a huge tent set up with long benches. Renly doesn't really know any of the summer workers besides Loras, except to exchange nods or greetings. It's entertaining to watch Cersei Lannister get drunk and lean on her brother, both laughing until they're breathless. Loras has introduced him to the other Warriors before, and they spend most of the night all hanging out together on the same bench, talking and drinking and eating cocktail sausages and laughing.

Some time around one in the morning, Renly decides to stand up and say, "Who wants to go and poke the peacocks?"

The Warriors all laugh. One of them, who has a pet parrot and watches the eagle show every day, says, "You can't poke them! They're beautiful creatures who should be left alone."

"Besides," Loras says, grinning, "they'll peck you."

"Want to bet?" Renly is very, very drunk by this point. He is also very sure that poking the peacocks will lead to no harm coming to his hands or his dignity. He has a vague notion that it will somehow impress Loras, who will then fall on his mouth and shout "Take me now!"

"This is folly," Bryce loudly declares. "No one should have to poke a peacock. In the face."

"I wasn't thinking specifi- speci- in particular," Renly says, "of their faces. But I will accept this challenge."

"I will not join you in this quest," the other knight says. "Begone, foul peacock poker!"

"Ye botherer of birds," adds one of the squires.

"I'll go with you," Loras says, standing a bit unsteadily.

"My knight!" Renly slings an arm over his shoulders. "My one companion on this brave and noble quest."

"Don't be too pleased, I plan to put the video on youtube." Loras grins.

"How dare you? I thought we were friends." Renly means to push him away, but somehow doesn't manage it. "I'll demote you to noble steed."

"At least I'm still noble," Loras laughs.

They stumble out of the tent and Renly almost falls flat on his face. Loras grabs him, and they put their arms around each other's waists to stay steady. Renly starts singing the Richard III song from Horrible Histories as they cross the bridge. "Never forget when you hear of my crimes, never drowned my brother in a massive vat of wine." Loras pretends to shove him into the river.

"God, you really are a terrible singer," he says, as Renly clutches at him.

"I did tell you," Renly says. "I should probably also have mentioned that I only ever sing when I am really, really pissed." He pronounces it 'pished'. Loras laughs.

"How pished _are_ you?"

"On a scale of one to hammered, I would say I am positively trolleyed."

Loras laughs louder. "You're just making words up now."

"You've never heard trolleyed? What about trousered? Rat arsed?"

"Rat arsed, I've heard," Loras says. "You made up trousered."

"I didn't! Robert says it."

"Robert has to find new ways to describe drunkenness." Loras stumbles over the word, but makes it to the end of it. "Once you get to the later stages of alcoholism, the usual words must get boring."

"Maybe." Renly looks up at the sky, holding on to Loras's waist so he doesn't fall over. "No stars."

"It's summer. There's always clouds in summer." They're rounding the corner, the Mound rising to their right.

"It should be starry," Renly says. "Romantic walks are supposed to have stars."

"This isn't a romantic walk," Loras says. "We're both drunk and you can barely stay upright."

"You're right," Renly nods. "It's more like a romantic stumble."

"Is it meant to be romantic? I don't feel wooed."

"I was going to woo you. Last week I wanted to pick a rose for you from the garden, but they'd have sacked me."

"I'd have been appalled. I told you my family are horticulturalists." That word, he manages with very little slurring. Renly is impressed.

They stumble further round the castle, until the Mound slopes back down.

"Race you to the castle wall," Renly says, and runs towards the trees. He tries to, anyway. He makes it to the first tree before a root trips him up.

"Renly!" Loras calls, running up to him and offering a hand. "Don't, I thought I'd lose you in the dark."

Renly takes his hand and stands unsteadily. He leans back against the tree. "You'd have found me. My knight."

Loras kisses him. Renly's body reacts before his brain can catch up, pulling Loras in and kissing him open-mouthed and sloppy. He tastes of the wine he's been drinking all night, and by the time Renly's alcohol-fuddled brain has worked out what's happening, Renly's hands are tugging Loras's shirt up and splaying on his waist under it.

Loras moans into his mouth. He unbuttons Renly's shirt, fingers fumbling, and slides his palms over Renly's chest. Renly kisses him deeply, moving his hands to the small of Loras's back.

Renly pulls away to break the kiss. "I'm too drunk for this," he says.

"Right." Loras leans their foreheads together. "No, not too drunk, come back," and kisses him again.

"I mean," Renly says into his mouth, taking one of Loras's hands and pressing it to his crotch, "I'm too drunk to get it up." No matter how much this should be turning him on — and is, just not physically — his dick stays resolutely limp.

"I'm not," Loras says, and moves their hands to his own crotch, pressing Renly's against it. He's hard. Renly whimpers.

He rolls them against the tree until Loras is the one with his back to it, and kisses him again. It takes him a little while to get the buttons on Loras's jeans undone, but Loras helps, which speeds the process up. Renly reaches into Loras's pants and wraps a hand around his cock. Loras moans into his mouth again, half-breaking the kiss to breathe erratically on his chin as Renly starts jerking him off.

Renly does his best to keep his hand steady and stroke well. Loras leans his head back against the tree and makes soft noises as Renly kisses his neck. "I want to blow you," Renly murmurs into his skin.

"Fuck," Loras whispers.

Renly doesn't sink gracefully onto his knees — he half-falls, really — but it doesn't matter because then he's pulling Loras's clothes down enough and fitting his mouth over his cock. Loras groans, sliding one hand into Renly's hair and sounding a little more sober.

Renly has never been this drunk for oral sex before, and it is the worst performance of his life. He uses too much tongue, his hand work is terrible, and his sucks come off half-hearted at best. All the same, Loras keeps making pleased noises, and then _pleading_ noises. Renly's head is spinning and the night air is warm so it hasn't sobered him up in the slightest.

"Renly," Loras moans. "I'm gonna -- come in a minute — _yes_ —"

Renly does his best to suck harder, but it isn't easy. Loras bunches his hand in Renly's hair and says, "I'm gonna — fuck —" and comes. Renly immediately pulls off, choking, and spits it all out onto the ground. He stands up with difficulty, holding onto the tree, while Loras does his jeans up again.

"Sorry," Renly says. "I'm actually really good at that. Like, brilliant. You don't understand. I'm amazing. Just not while I'm drunk, it seems."

"That wasn't the worst I've ever had," Loras says, getting his breath back.

" _Really_?"

"Yeah. This one boy at my school, he took so long about it that he pissed himself. He didn't even finish me off in the end. That's what I get for trying to sleep with straight guys, I suppose." Loras squints at him. "I thought you were straight."

"What makes you say that?"

Loras shrugs. "Dunno. You never talk about women, or having a girlfriend, or anything. But you never talk about men or having a boyfriend, either."

"S'pose I don't." Renly shrugs. "I've been unlucky in love. 'S not pleasant. And I don't have much free time, with my job. In the unlikely event of me actually getting a boyfriend, they tend to want to spend Sunday afternoons reading the paper and talking. I'd like that too, but I usually have to work."

"I told you," Loras says, moving closer, "you work too hard. But there's always Sunday afternoon picnics by the river." He kisses him again, sliding one hand back into his hair. Renly wishes fervently that he weren't quite so drunk.

He wakes up the next morning, still in his clothes, body flung over his bed on top of the covers. His head is pounding, his mouth is dry and tacky, and he can hear someone walking past his bedroom door. Since he lives alone, this is rather alarming, but it still takes him a good five minutes to persuade himself to get up.

Finally, he stumbles off the bed and towards the bathroom. Loras is standing in it, brushing his teeth.

"Sorry, I really have to," Renly gestures at the toilet. Loras nods and spits the toothpaste out of his mouth, leaving with one of the towels.

They sit at the kitchen table, Renly's enormous Brita jug in the middle of it, drinking glass after glass of water once they've taken painkillers with the first one. "Everything I want to eat would be loud," Loras mumbles.

"What happened last night?" Renly says, head in his hands. "The last thing I remember is Jaime challenging everybody to a duel."

"I remember drinking. Lots of drinking," Loras says. "Matt wouldn't shut up about owls."

"Matt never shuts up about owls," Renly says. "There were sausages. That doesn't explain why you slept here."

"Can't afford a taxi to mine," Loras says. "I think you said I could kip on the sofa, since Leamington's closer. Except you said Lemon."

"Leamington's a difficult word when you're drunk."

"You were very drunk. You said something about the stars, but I don't remember anything else."

"Robert always says you know it's been a good night when you can't remember a thing the next day," Renly says. He winces as the letter box rattles and the post drops to the floor. "I rarely agree with him on anything. This is not one of the exceptions."

"Can I stay here today?" Loras asks. He looks pathetic. It's incredibly cute. "My head hurts too much to face sunlight."

"Yeah." They've emptied the filter jug, so Renly sticks it in the sink and turns the tap on. His head isn't pounding so much, but he doesn't want to open the curtains yet. "Look, I just want to crawl into bed and sleep. You okay here?"

"Can I crawl into bed and sleep too?" He looks up at Renly, and he looks so adorable and _miserable_ that it takes all of Renly's energy not to kiss him.

"Yeah. Of course."

When the filter's full, Renly switches the tap off and leads Loras to the bedroom. "It's only a one-bedroom place, er. You don't mind, do you?"

"I'd sleep in the same bed as Cersei Lannister right now if it meant being quiet." Loras starts taking his shirt off. Renly ducks out to go to the bathroom, and when he comes back in Loras is already under the covers.

Renly yanks his clothes off. He's too tired and strung out to tell Loras to look away as he takes last night's boxers off and slips into one of the pairs he sleeps in. When he turns back to the bed, Loras's eyes are closed, so he probably didn't see. Renly slips under the covers and closes his eyes, too.

He wakes up later, headache subsided, bursting for the loo. Loras's arm is flung across his chest, curls tumbled over his forehead. Renly eases out from under him and practically runs to the bathroom. When he comes back, he slides into bed again, careful not to wake Loras. He doesn't stir, so Renly drapes Loras's arm back over his chest and closes his eyes some of the way.

He knows he shouldn't really watch him sleep, but he can't help it. Loras looks almost unbearably cute. Renly lets himself fantasise for a minute, that he gets to wake up next to him every day, that most days he sneaks to the bathroom to brush his teeth before Loras wakes up so he can kiss him as soon as he does.

Loras shifts closer in his sleep. Renly automatically puts an arm around him, and Loras settles into his side. Renly lies still as Loras's breathing gets deeper again. He can't fantasise now, not when reality is Loras snuggled against him. It'll be awkward when he wakes up, but Renly can't find it in him to care. He strokes his fingertips lightly over Loras's side, biting his lip and trying to keep his breathing even.

Loras shifts his hips closer, and Renly feels something brush against him. He freezes, but Loras is still fast asleep. And getting hard. Renly closes his eyes. He brushes his fingertips over Loras's side again, after a minute of neither of them moving, and Loras's cock stiffens further, lying against his hip. Renly whimpers.

Loras stirs a bit. Renly goes still. "Mmmmm," Loras murmurs, stretching, eyes shut. He sounds half asleep. He kisses Renly's chest, a sleepy, languid kiss, and then opens his eyes. He stops. "Oh."

"Sorry. Um, hi."

"Hi." Loras scrambles up. "I have to," he moves towards the door. Heart sinking, Renly nods.

He gets dressed while Loras is in the bathroom, and heads back out to the kitchen. He pours them both glasses of water, but when Loras emerges from the bedroom, dressed again, he says, "I should go. Um, can you lend me money for the bus? My student loan hasn't come through yet."

"Yeah," Renly says, "'course. You don't have to go yet, though, I could make us some food."

"No, I should really get back. Thanks, though."

"Okay." Renly digs some coins out and hands them to Loras. "I um. I'll see you around."

"Yeah." Loras smiles. "I'll email you."

When Loras is gone, Renly puts his head on the table and dry sobs for a minute.

{__}

"You're moping," Jon says. Renly's standing at the till, staring in at the money and trying to count it. If they don't have enough change for the day he'll have to go over to Barristan and ask for some.

"So are you."

"Yeah, well, Ygritte'll probably un-dump me in a few days."

"That why you're miserable, then?" Renly looks up. Jon's got his chin on his hand, elbow on the counter.

"No," Jon says. "I'm miserable because she called me a no-good bastard and stormed out of the pub. I hadn't even done anything."

"She thought you were talking about the barmaid when you said there was a lovely flower in the room," Renly says.

"You what? I said there was a lovely sour there. As in beer."

"You should probably tell her that." Renly tries to count again, but he can't concentrate. He shuts the till in frustration. "Can you count? I think I've forgotten numbers."

"Here, swap." They switch sides of the counter, Jon opening the cash drawer as Renly settles with his elbow next to the Kingmaker pencils, chin on his fist. "We'll need another twenty coppers."

"Right, I'll go and charm them out of Barristan."

He gets back to the shop just as the first tourists of the day are spilling into the courtyard. It's the usual amount for a weekday near the end of September. Renly dumps the coppers into the till and resumes moping until the first customers come in.

"Have you heard from him?" Jon asks, when he gets back from lunch and there's no one in the shop but them.

"Yeah. He's got a temporary job at a cinema, serving popcorn. He works evenings, so I haven't seen him much. But he texts me at least once a day." Renly sighs. "It's sort of agony."

His phone buzzes in his pocket. It's a text from Loras: _U shld see my tulip_ , with a picture of the tulip he has on his kitchen windowsill. It's bent over, as though it's dancing.

Renly looks up. "Yeah, looks like torture," Jon says, dry.

"Oh shut up. Imagine if you were just friends with Ygritte but you couldn't be anything else, not ever."

Jon snorts. "She wouldn't be friends with me if she didn't want to shag me."

"It's not like you don't get on," Renly protests.

"Oh, we do. I love the woman, but she wouldn't have spent any time with me if she hadn't fancied me." Jon shrugs. "She always says I'm too posh."

"Too posh?" Renly laughs.

"My dad's rich and I work in a castle," Jon points out. "What, just because my mum wasn't rich and I've got a Yorkshire accent, that makes me working class? Hardly."

"Fair point," Renly concedes.

He's in the Stables the next day, and just starting to think about taking his lunch break when Loras walks in.

"Loras," Renly says, his heart lifting. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I'd come and see the place as a visitor," Loras says. "I never actually did, this summer."

"What do you think?" It's one thing to email and text him, and quite another to see the way he smiles, to smile back.

"It's pretty awesome. Have you done the Merlin tower?"

"I did that once on my day off," Renly nods. "Great, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Loras beams at him. "I went to the Kingmaker shop. Jon and Grenn said hi."

"Thanks." There's a silence while they stand there smiling at each other, which gets awkward after a minute.

"Er, so I was thinking of looking at the t-shirts," Loras says.

Renly leads him over to the rack they're on. "Looking for another present, or d'you want to actually wear it?"

Loras laughs. "Wear it. I usually sleep in this one shirt, but it's all tattered to pieces. I need a new one, so I thought why not a castle one?"

"Right." Renly has to clear his throat to get any sound to come out of it. He's trying not to think about Loras sleeping in a tattered shirt. Or no shirt.

"What do you think of this one?" Loras holds one of the shirts to his chest.

"Yeah, it's nice," Renly says. "I think this one'd look better on you," he points to a shirt more in Loras's colours, "but if it's just to sleep in that doesn't really matter, right?"

"Who says it doesn't?" Loras picks up the shirt Renly had indicated. "Okay, I'll get this one. Thanks."

"Any time." Renly watches Loras go up to the till. They wave at each other as Loras leaves the shop, and Barristan levels an annoyed look at Renly, so he goes back to work.

{__}

Renly doesn't watch porn much. He doesn't really know what a normal amount of porn is, since one of his brothers has sacks of it and the other would ban its existence if he could. He's always been in the middle of his brothers' extremes, and he supposes going to youporngay every week or so must be a _bit_ normal.

It's his day off. Sometimes he makes plans with Jon, who has the same days off he does, but he and Ygritte have been back together for a couple of weeks so they're in that shag-all-the-time phase again. Renly hangs out with Sam on his own sometimes; he's not really close to Grenn or Edd or Pyp, but he and Sam struck up a rapport when Jon started seeing Ygritte. But Sam and Gilly have just got engaged, so they're up to their eyeballs in invitations and venues and colour swatches for the dresses. Renly doesn't really have time to make many other friends, so he's spending his day off alone, in his flat, looking at gay porn and wanking.

He gets an email part way through a threesome video, which breaks the mood somewhat, since his client is set to popping up a message. He pauses the video and clicks over to the email; the mood's broken, why the hell not?

It's from Loras. The subject is _possible tattoo?_

_I'm thinking of maybe getting a tattoo. What do you think?_ There's a picture attached, which Renly downloads before he opens.

He opens it full screen, the default, so suddenly his entire screen is filled with Loras's skin. It's a picture of his hip with a small Mickey Mouse photoshopped next to it. Loras must have pulled his underwear down, or be naked, because the picture shows the crease of skin where his thigh meets his hip. There's a hint of hair in the bottom left corner, and the edge of a trail of hair leading down to it.

Renly's hand is back on his cock before he can think. He stares at the picture, thinking about licking over that skin, kissing down the line of hair, flicking his tongue at the base of Loras's cock. He comes quickly and washes his hands before sitting back at the computer, not really wanting to have to explain to the Genius Bar why there's jizz in his keyboard.

He emails back, _Please tell me you're kidding about Mickey Mouse._

Less than a minute later, a reply comes in. _Aw, I thought you'd fall for it and I'd get to tease you for the rest of time._

Renly types _You're already teasing me for the rest of time_ , but quickly deletes it. _You won't get me that way_ , he types instead.

_What does it take to get you then?_ is the reply. Renly has a moment of wondering if Loras is flirting, but shoves it aside.

_As if I'd tell you that. You have to work it out for yourself, like any other mate._

Loras's reply is a link to a video of a raven imitating human voices. Renly once told him they freak him out, but he didn't expect him to remember.

_That was uncalled for_ , he replies.

_Below the belt, you might say_ , is Loras's reply. Renly needs a moment to collect himself before he emails back.

_Cruel, even._

Loras replies with _Mwahahahhahaha_. "I like you so much," Renly says to the screen.

{__}

Renly nearly steps on a pumpkin on the way into work, one morning at the end of October. "Sorry," he says to the person who's trying to haul seven at once.

Jon's in the shop when he gets there. "You're early," Renly observes.

"Ygritte had to work early," Jon shrugs. "She gave me a lift. My car's in the garage."

"Everything all right?" Renly gets the quills arranged nicely and brushes a bit of dust off some tapestries.

"Yeah. MOT." The door opens, but Renly has his back to it. "Hi," Jon says.

Renly expects one of Jon's friends to respond; sometimes Sam makes a detour on his way to the Mews. Instead, it's Loras who speaks. "Hi."

"Loras?" Renly turns around. " _Loras_. What are you doing here?"

"I'm back for the Halloween stuff," Loras grins. "I'm one of the Duelling Dead."

"You didn't tell me!" He hugs him, a nice quick hug. Loras leans into it.

"I wanted to surprise you."

"You always surprise me," Renly says before he can stop himself. Loras beams at him.

"Anyway, I got roped into helping out at Riverside in the mornings," Loras nods over to Jon, who grins. "But I had to come in and say hi."

"We're there tomorrow," Renly says, indicating himself and Jon. Loras smiles.

"I'll see you there, then."

"And I'll come and watch you when I'm on lunch," Renly says. He hugs him again, unable to resist the urge. "It's so good to see you," he says into his shoulder.

Loras squeezes gently. "It's good to see you too."

When Loras has gone, Jon is shaking his head. "You two're sickening. I wish you'd just shag already."

"You seem invested in it. Do you think about me naked a lot, then?" Renly grins.

"Fuck off." Jon rolls his eyes, but he's smiling.

"And what was that about you roping him in to help at the toy shop?"

"I'm engineering situations where the two of you can spend more time together," Jon says.

"Well, at least you're not trying to hide it."

Renly watches the Duelling Dead fight after he's eaten lunch. Loras looks weird in the makeup, but he's brilliant as ever with the sword. He grins as Renly cheers at the end.

The castle's open into the evening that week, so after work Renly goes for a pint and some food with Jon and his mates, and Loras finds them at their booth. "Budge up," Pyp says to Sam, who's sitting next to Renly. They both move until there's enough room for Loras to sit, although there's not quite _enough_ room, so his thigh is pressed entirely against Renly's.

Sam gives Renly a sympathetic look, and they go back to talking about the birds. Sam works in the Mews and sometimes the peacock garden, and he tells Renly, Loras and Jon a story about two of the peacocks, who got into a fight that afternoon over some bread. "I had to break it up myself," Sam says, holding up his hand. There's a plaster on his thumb.

"Get Gilly to kiss it better," Jon grins. "Then you won't feel so bad."

"I will." Sam's been practically glowing since he got engaged.

It's Sunday the next day, Jon and Renly's day in Riverside Toys. They get things set up, Loras showing them what was the biggest seller yesterday. He's mostly working Bear Mountain. Renly's out on the floor, helping where he's needed, but he keeps looking over during the morning. Loras is great with the kids, and with the machine.

Renly's re-stacking some dolls on a shelf next to Bear Mountain when he sees a six-year-old girl approach it. "Aren't you a knight?" she says to Loras. "I came here before, I saw you."

"That's right," Loras says, crouching so she's not craning her neck. "I am a knight, and good knights help wherever they can. They needed my help in here today, to make bears."

The girl nods, solemn. "Can I name my bear after you?"

Loras smiles. "I would be honoured, my lady. My name is Loras."

Renly watches him make the bear, talking to the girl about being a knight (she has a lot of questions, and he answers them all), and when it's finished, he hands it to her. "There you go, my lady," he says, smiling

"Thank you. Come on Sir Loras," she says to the bear, "we've got castles to defend!" She runs over to a woman who's probably her mother, to show her Sir Loras.

"Are you all right?" Jon says. Renly turns around, realising he's barely moved for the past five minutes.

"Yeah," he says, shaking himself. "I might be in love with him, though."

Jon pats his arm. "You're very thick, for a clever man," he says, and Renly elbows him in retaliation.

{__}

A week after the Halloween week ends, Renly and Jon stay late one night getting the Christmas decorations up. They need all hands on deck, and there's usually a drink down the pub in it for anybody who helps. Renly helps out every year; Christmas is about family, and his family leaves him with an enormous desire to put bows and candles and baubles onto a massive tree in a hall very far from any of them. Except the kids, he likes the kids. There's always a certain amount of trying to regulate Robert's alcohol intake involved in the day, and enduring Stannis's Scrooge-like qualities. There's also being his nephews' and nieces' favourite uncle, and he does always dress up as the Ghost of Christmas Present from The Muppet Christmas Carol because Stannis refuses to let them believe in Santa Claus, so it's not all bad. But decorating a tree with his best friend almost beats laughing like a large absent-minded spirit.

"I've got Arya a shield this year," Jon says as they hang gold baubles. "Robb said he'd get her a year's archery lessons, and Dad's going to set up a thing in the garage so she and Bran can sword fight safely."

"Some day they'll be working here," Renly grins.

"Arya says she wants to travel," Jon says. "But I've told her, I can see if I can get her a job here when she's old enough. Bran might be a knight, though."

"Maybe he'll fight Loras," Renly says. "I wonder who'd win."

"Loras," Jon answers immediately. "Bran's got determination, and he's probably got some talent, but I've seen your Loras."

Renly grins. "He is rather good, isn't he?"

"Ugh." Jon reaches for the candle decorations, hands some to him. "One day you'll stop being so disgustingly in love with him, and on that day, you'll stop making me want to punch you."

"I'm not as bad as you were when you met Ygritte," Renly protests. "I very nearly did punch you once."

"Yeah, and you're being _exactly_ like I was when I met Ygritte," Jon says. "Only you're more annoying about it because you're pining."

"I know, I'm sorry." Renly hands some more candles over. "I am _trying_ not to talk about him."

Jon sighs. "I know." He looks at the tree. "We need a ladder."

"I'll grab one from the mistletoe people," Renly says. He's vaguely aware of them in the doorways and dotted around the hall.

He heads to the nearest doorway, and that is when he sees who is up the stepladder. "Loras?" he calls.

The ladder wobbles, and Renly's hands shoot out to steady it. "Renly? I didn't know you were helping here."

"Yeah. Every year, it means I go to Stannis's feeling actually happy. I didn't know _you_ were helping here."

Loras shrugs, finishing sticking the mistletoe to the top of the doorway. "I heard about it last week and I thought, why not, right? I really like this place. I forgot I hadn't told you." He grins down at him. "And if I'd known you'd be here, I'd have wanted to surprise you again."

"You like doing that," Renly says, holding the ladder steady as Loras climbs down it.

"I do, yeah." Loras jumps to the ground.

"Er, we need this for the tree," Renly says, folding the ladder up.

"Okay. But," Loras looks up, "I think it's bad luck to stand under mistletoe and not kiss."

"Oh." Renly clears his throat. He hasn't heard that before, but he's not about to dispute it. "Wouldn't want bad luck."

"No," Loras says, moving closer. He licks his lips. "Wouldn't want that."

Renly kisses him. It's a small kiss, enough that if Loras wants to he can pull away after a peck, but Renly lingers and Loras kisses back. And keeps kissing back. Renly drops the ladder and wraps his arms around Loras's back, and Loras shifts his body up against Renly's and opens his mouth.

Renly can taste lemon and sugar on Loras's tongue. He kisses him hard, Loras's fingers against his jaw and in his hair, their bodies pressed flush. Loras is a _really_ good kisser, and he uses just the amount of tongue Renly likes. His whole body is alive with tingles, hands bunching in Loras's jacket. Loras moves his hands to Renly's back, sliding them down it until they come to rest almost at his ass. Renly makes a small sound into Loras's mouth and moves one hand to the small of Loras's back, and Loras groans softly.

"Oi," someone shouts, "you're blocking the door."

"Yes," someone else says, deadpan, "that's the most important part of this."

"Shut up." That's Jon's voice. "Renly, we need that ladder. Put the boy down and get over here."

Renly breaks the kiss, laughing. Loras laughs into his shoulder. "I'd better go," Renly says.

"Yeah." Loras smiles. "Fancy skipping the pub after this and just going to your place?"

"You're a bit eager," Renly says, biting back a _Fuck yes_.

"I've been throwing myself at you since the second I laid eyes on you," Loras says. "Of course I'm fucking eager."

"Have you? Shit. I wish I'd known, I'd have jumped you the first chance I got."

"Well you've got a chance later," Loras says, grinning. "Now get back to the tree before Jon drowns you in the river."

Renly takes the ladder back to Jon, who claps him on the back. "I did tell you you're stupid," he says.

Renly nods. "Often. Repeatedly. You were right, of course."

Loras joins them at the tree a few minutes later. "How did you not know?" he says, keeping the ladder steady and watching Renly hang more baubles.

"You just didn't ... I don't know, seem like you were flirting?"

"He's thick," Jon supplies.

"Thanks." Renly rolls his eyes.

"I came looking for you, the second day of the summer shows," Loras says. "Thought maybe I could pretend I needed a quill for uni or something, but you weren't there. Jon told me where you'd gone before I even asked."

"You never told me," Renly says to him, accusingly.

"Loras told me not to," Jon shrugs. "A promise is a promise."

Renly shakes his head. "You and your honour."

"You really didn't know I was flirting with you?"

Renly climbs down the ladder and hands it to Jon. "I thought I just wanted you to be. I have an unfortunate tendency to fall for straight guys, so I've just started assuming any guy I like that much has to be straight."

"Like I said," Jon says, hanging a bow on the tree, "he's thick."

"Yeah, you can stop saying that now," Renly says. "I get the message."

Loras is grinning. "So that time I gave you a back rub ..."

"Oh, don't remind me. I thought I'd die of sexual frustration."

" _You_ thought you'd die of sexual frustration?"

"Can you leave the sexual frustration out of this while you're here?" Jon says. "I don't need to know."

"Sorry." Renly hands him a box of candles.

While everyone else is walking off to the pub, Renly waves at Jon. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Jon calls. "Except Loras."

"I can't promise anything," Renly replies, grinning.

"Please tell me nothing about it tomorrow," Jon calls, and then he's too far away to shout to.

Loras is already sitting in Renly's car. "D'you want to get some food first?" Renly asks. It's late, and he hasn't eaten yet.

"Sex first, please," Loras says, like he's ordering. "Have you got stuff in?"

"For food or for sex?" Renly starts the car, wondering how he will survive Loras Tyrell.

"Food. Oh, but we should get some stuff if you don't have anything for sex —"

"Good grief," Renly says, "you don't beat about the bush, do you?"

Loras shrugs. "No point. I've been dying to shag you since I heard you laughing in the crowd and saw your incredible face. How long until we get to your place?"

Renly laughs. "About another five minutes, this time of night."

"Right. So _do_ you have stuff in for sex? I don't bareback."

"What have I got myself into?" Renly says. "I've got condoms. Lube. Not really much else."

"But you do have other stuff?" Loras sounds interested. "What have you got?"

"Just a couple of butt plugs," Renly says. "You know, most people like to keep some mysticism about sex."

Loras snorts. "Yeah, people who are too busy not talking about it to have better sex. What's wrong with knowing what all the options are and what a person likes? And to answer your question, me." Renly glances at Loras, to see that he's giving him sultry eyes. Renly tries not to laugh, which is actually quite easy, since he is also turned on. "You've got yourself into me."

"Well." Eyes back on the road, Renly tries to think of any words at all to say. He can't even think of any words to _think_.

Loras laughs. "You're easy to fluster. I like that."

"I ... kind of like it when you fluster me." Renly smiles.

"Good," Loras says. Renly looks at him; he's smiling back, a soft fond look on his face. It feels like there's something in Renly's chest that's inflating. "You're going to be _fun_."

"That's the idea," Renly says, smiling at him until he has to tear his eyes away to look back at the road.

They get to his building and they're barely parked before Loras jumps out of the car. "Come on," he says, pulling Renly by the coat as soon as he gets out.

"Hang on, I have to lock this." He hits the button, and manages to get his house keys out of his pocket and unlock the door.

As soon as they're through it, Loras shoves him up against it and kisses him. "Mmf," Renly says. "I haven't locked _this_ yet."

"Fuck locks," Loras says, undoing Renly's coat and starting on his shirt buttons. "Fuck _me_."

"Give me a chance," Renly says, getting the front door locked. "We're not even at mine yet. I won't shag you in a hall."

"Not ever?" Loras sounds disappointed. Renly laughs.

"Maybe if you want me to. And it's a very private hall."

They make it up to Renly's flat, and Loras even lets him walk them into the bedroom, kissing all the way. Loras pulls at his clothes, getting buttons undone and unzipping his trousers, sliding a hand inside to wrap around Renly's cock. Renly throws his head back at the contact, whispering, "Fuck."

"Mmm, please," Loras grins. They half fall onto the bed in only their underwear, and Renly struggles over to grab the condoms and lube from his bedside drawer. When he turns back, Loras is naked, kneeling up on all fours. "You okay with this?" he asks, wriggling his ass in the air.

"Normally I like a bit of foreplay," Renly says, ripping the packaging off a condom and discarding his boxers.

"Next time," Loras says. "Get in me _now_."

"Fuck, you're demanding." Renly rolls the condom onto himself, and holds the lube out for Loras. "Can you get yourself ready? It'll save time."

"Normally I'm less demanding," Loras says, covering his fingers in lube and kneeling up to work them into himself. "This is not normally. This is four months of being desperate to fuck you and thinking I never will. Your cock. My arse. In the next minute, preferably."

"I love you," Renly says, although what he meant to say was _Let me know when you're ready_.

Loras looks over his shoulder at him. "You're telling me this now? When I've got my fingers up my arse and you're lubing a condom?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to. I do, though. Um. Love you."

Loras leans over and kisses him lightly. "I love you too. Let's leave the sappy stuff until _after_ you've fucked me so hard I see stars."

Renly raises an eyebrow. "That's what you want, is it?"

"You ever made a guy scream?"

Renly's breath catches in his throat. "Yeah, actually. Well, he yelled a lot."

Loras bites his lip. "Jackpot."

The second Loras takes his fingers out of his ass, Renly lines his cock up. "You ready?"

" _Yes_ , fuck," Loras says.

Renly slides into him. There's a good amount of lube, not too much, definitely enough. There's a little left on Renly's hand, which he wraps around Loras's cock. Loras makes a desperate noise and pushes back onto him.

The rhythm's slow at first, like a warm-up. Renly builds it and builds it until he's fucking into Loras hard, fast, hand moving quickly on his cock. Loras is grunting with every thrust, arching his back and leaning up on his knees every couple of minutes. " _Fuck_ ," he yelps.

Renly holds him closer with one arm and pounds into him. " _Fuck_ ," Loras yells. "Unh, unh, _fuck_." His voice is squeaking on the yell now, and he falls back onto his hands. Renly falls with him, finding his balance and keeping the rhythm. " _Fuck_." Loras is almost screaming by this point. He comes, yelling, " _Renly, fuck_ ," and Renly comes the second he hears it. It is the sexiest thing he has heard in his _life_.

Renly pulls out, legs shaking so much he can hardly stay kneeling up. Loras collapses onto the bed, and when Renly's wrapped the condom up and thrown it into the bin, he collapses next to him.

"Wow," Loras says, still panting. "I loved you before I knew you could do that, so I don't even know where my feelings can go from this point."

"Yeah," Renly says, trying hard to get his breath back. "Holy shit." He pauses, concentrating on his breathing for a second. "And I'm great at giving head," he says, with a strange sense of deja vu. "Men have proposed to me because of it."

Loras pats his hip. "You'll have a hard time getting rid of me now. Sex like that, _and_ you're funny and gorgeous and interesting and cute? We need to go straight to boyfriends, this instant."

Renly grins. "Fine by me."

They get their breath back, and then Loras says, "We can do the mushy bit now, if you want."

"The mushy bit?"

"Yeah." Loras rolls into Renly's side and starts running his fingertips over his chest. "When did you fall in love with me, stuff like that."

"Oh. Bear Mountain. That's when I knew I loved you, anyway, I think I fell before that. You were just so adorable with the kids, it just ... it showed how sweet you are. To everyone, really." He pauses. "Wait. I know when I fell in love with you." How did he not _realise_ before? "When you were talking about Lon Chaney. You were all lit up, and it just ... you're so passionate."

Loras smiles. "I fell in love with you the day after we got drunk. You were so good to me, and when I woke up with your arm around me, it was like my heart was breaking. Because I couldn't have you," he adds, when Renly opens his mouth to ask. "It was so nice just falling asleep with you, but then I woke up like that and it was just. I loved you."

Renly smiles at him. Loras has his head on his chest, fingers circling a little way from it. "D'you want something to eat now?"

Loras looks up at him. "Yes please. Have you got a tin of pineapple?"

"What do you want one of those for?" Loras just keeps looking at him, so Renly answers, "Yes, actually."

"Good. I want pineapple on toast."

"You really do eat the weirdest things, don't you?"

Loras grins. "You'd better get used to it. Boyfriend."

Renly laughs. "You can't just call me 'boyfriend' like it's a nickname."

"Pookie, then." Renly laughs harder. "Sweetheart. Babydoll. Ren."

"Stop it," Renly says, grabbing a pillow to hit him with.

"Honey," Loras grins, undeterred. "Sweetiebear. Kittenface."

" _Stop_ it." Renly is helpless with laughter.

"I'll just call you Renly then." He's still grinning, but there's a soft contentment in his eyes.

"Yeah," Renly says, finally able to stop laughing. "Let's just be Renly and Loras."

"Okay," Loras says, and kisses him.


End file.
